Advent Reflection: Week 2 – Peace

There’s a moment in every life when we confront the impact of our choices. Often, it’s not the monumental decisions that shape us but the small, unseen patterns—ways of thinking, reacting, or avoiding—that quietly dictate our days. These behaviors might feel like survival mechanisms, but left unchecked, they rob us of the peace we so deeply crave.

This Sunday of Advent, we are invited to reflect on God’s promise of peace. But what if the barriers to that peace are the very patterns we cling to for comfort? Destructive habits—avoiding vulnerability, reacting in anger, numbing out through distractions—might shield us from pain, but they  prevent us from living fully in the freedom and connection God offers.

Peace in the Breaking of Patterns

The patterns that keep us stuck often began as defenses against harm. Maybe you learned to withdraw to avoid conflict or used busyness to silence deeper struggles. The problem is, these defenses not only block pain but also keep you from experiencing God’s peace. Advent invites us to pause and ask, “What am I holding onto that keeps me from receiving the Prince of Peace?”

“It wasn’t until I sat with my own story—really sat with it—that I started to see the threads running through my life. The anger, the withdrawal, the fear… it all had roots I had never examined.” – Initial Retreat Participant

Jesus offers a different way. His peace isn’t about avoiding discomfort; it’s about stepping into the hard, honest work of transformation. It’s about recognizing where we’re stuck and trusting God to lead us toward wholeness.

Steps Toward Peace

  1. Recognize the Pattern
    The journey begins with awareness. Reflect on recurring struggles in your life. Where do you consistently feel restless or disconnected?“It wasn’t easy to face myself,” one participant shared. “But it was harder to keep living the way I was. The patterns I’d been ignoring weren’t just hurting me—they were hurting the people I loved.” – Initial Retreat Participant
  2. Understand the Root Cause
    Advent is a time of searching our hearts. Destructive patterns often stem from unhealed wounds or unmet needs. Consider these questions:

    • What triggers this behavior?
    • What fear or belief drives it?
    • Where is God inviting me to trust Him more deeply?

    Through prayer, journaling, or soul work, you can uncover what lies beneath the surface.

    “I realized I had been responding to stress with anger, and it was hurting the people I loved most. That awareness didn’t come overnight—it took deep work to uncover.” – Initial Retreat Participant

  3. Create Space for God’s Peace
    Breaking patterns requires intentionality. Invite God into the spaces you’ve been avoiding. Instead of reacting or shutting down, practice pausing to seek His presence.“During my retreat, I learned to sit with discomfort instead of escaping it. It was a game-changer for my relationships.” – Initial Retreat Participant
  4. Lean into Community
    God’s peace often comes through the love and support of others. Seek out spaces of honesty and grace—small groups, retreats, or trusted relationships where you can be vulnerable. Transformation happens in community.
  5. Celebrate Progress
    Transformation doesn’t happen overnight, and God doesn’t demand perfection. Celebrate the small steps: a gentler response, a moment of courage, a renewed connection with someone you love.“I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m no longer stuck. Every small win reminds me that change is possible.” – Initial Retreat Participant

The Promise of Peace

As we light the second Advent candle, let’s remember that peace isn’t the absence of struggle—it’s the presence of God in the midst of it. Jesus came to bring peace, not by avoiding conflict but by confronting the brokenness in us and the world around us.

The paradox of peace is this: the very patterns that feel safe often keep us stuck. They whisper, “It’s too risky to change,” but God’s promise of peace calls us to trust that the cost of staying the same is far greater than the cost of letting go.

Breaking destructive patterns isn’t about fixing ourselves; it’s about becoming whole in Christ. It’s about peeling back the layers of fear and control to allow His peace to reign in our hearts.

This Advent, will you confront the ways you’ve been living stuck? Will you make space for God to break in and bring His peace?

If you’re ready to explore what this work might look like, consider attending a Christian men's retreat or women's retreat with The Crucible Project or trying a free 30-minute session of online coaching with a certified Crucible coach. Take one step toward uncovering the patterns that hold you back and discovering the freedom God offers.

The journey to peace starts with one step. Are you ready to take it?

Want to hear more? Check out Kevin's journey with destructive patterns: