Stepping into the unknown can feel daunting, but for those willing to face themselves, a Crucible men’s or women’s retreat experience can offer a profound shift in perspective.

We recently spoke with a participant who was just 72 hours out from her first Crucible retreat, still processing her experience of the weekend filled with deep exploration and transformation. Her reflections capture the raw impact of confronting what lies beneath the surface and embracing the journey toward a more authentic, connected life.

Q: What brought you to a place where you knew it was time to take this step?
A: I felt like I hit a boiling point in my spirit. I’d reached a place where I couldn’t keep going as I was, feeling stuck and blocked. I realized I had to make the time to care for myself and explore what was weighing me down.

Q: What did you want for yourself going into the retreat?
A: I went in wanting peace, which felt like such an unattainable goal. The idea of clarity was there too; I wanted to understand why life felt murky. I’ve followed Jesus for a long time, and yet I couldn’t feel that “abundant life” that’s promised. At the retreat, I started to see that my endless drive to do more, to be more, was blocking me from even receiving love and care.

Q: What other insights did the retreat bring to light?
A: So many! One was my tendency to avoid feeling anger. I wasn’t aware of just how much I’d pushed that down. It’s still something I’m processing, but I know that blocking out emotions like that doesn’t come without consequences. I’ve already noticed how it affects my sense of connection, not just with others but also with myself.

Another huge realization was seeing how my inner dialogue kept telling me I wasn’t “good enough” and how that drove me to keep saying yes to things just to prove myself. It’s exhausting – and it’s simply not true.

Q: How did you feel as you left the retreat and headed home?
A: On the way home, the difference was clear. I’d driven there with others, and during the drive there, the conversation was a lot of small talk and I felt like I was carrying 1,000 pounds. But on the way back, it felt like we’d been busted wide open – free. That ride was the first moment I realized how much I’d been starving for real connection. There’s something so incredible about knowing that others are right there with you, willing to walk with you through the rawest parts of yourself.

Q: What was it like re-entering “normal” life after such an experience?
A: Honestly, it was bit jarring. Everything in the world seemed to be moving at this mad pace that I’d almost forgotten about. It was like time was suspended while we were at the retreat! But there was also a softness I didn’t expect. I cried more than I have in ages, but it was a good release, almost like I’d been blocking those tears for far too long. I felt more in touch with myself and my family – especially my husband. I’d been so closed off, and yet now all I wanted was to stay close to him and my kids.

Q: Did you notice any changes in how you relate to your family?
A: Absolutely. When I got home, I was like a different person with my kids. I noticed that before getting flustered, I’d take a moment to pause and actually decide how I wanted to respond, something I wouldn’t have done before. I could feel the impact of these small changes. For example, I’d step outside and take a breath before reacting, which helped me stay calm rather than slipping back into old habits. It’s all new and a bit awkward, like learning to walk again, but I can already see the benefit.

Q: How has this experience impacted your outlook on vulnerability and connection?
A: Tremendously. I’ve always struggled with allowing myself to be fully honest, even with my husband, and I tend to avoid being open with people because it hasn’t felt safe. But during the retreat, I realized that hiding wasn’t serving me. When I let myself cry, share, and be truly vulnerable, I felt this incredible weight lift. Since I’ve been back, I’ve wanted to carry that honesty forward, even if it feels scary or uncomfortable. It’s freeing to be myself fully.

Q: You spoke about surrendering to the process. How did that shape the experience?
A: Surrendering was pivotal. I went in not knowing what to expect, which is tough for me because I’m used to being in charge. But early on, I decided to fully commit to whatever unfolded. And because of that, I saw some massive changes take place. It challenged me to trust others and just let the process work, and that openness made all the difference.

Q: Has this experience inspired any ongoing connections or accountability?
A: Yes, for sure. I’ve already reached out to several people I connected with at the retreat. I’ve also had some reach out to me, helping me remember the things I said I wanted to work on. It’s refreshing to have this accountability, and it makes me feel like I’m stepping into a larger story, not just my own.

Q: If you could give one piece of advice to someone considering a retreat, what would it be?
A: Be ready to go all in – not just dipping a toe in but really stepping in. If you’re at a place where you’re ready to look at yourself honestly and commit to change, then do it. It’s worth the discomfort and the challenge. But go in when you’re ready to face whatever comes up, knowing that it’s a place to get scrappy and grow. Don’t hold back – take that step.

For anyone feeling weighed down or stuck, this is your invitation: There’s a powerful opportunity waiting for those ready to break through old patterns and finally find the peace, clarity, and connection they’ve been seeking. If you’re ready to step out of your comfort zone and explore what’s possible, take this as your challenge—step into a space of transformation, and discover what a life of greater purpose and authenticity could look like for you!