| June 13th, 2023

Compass Resources for Dads in 2022

Compass Resources for Dads

“If you’ve ever wondered if you are a good father, if you have struggled with whether a moment in fathering was the best for your child, if you’ve second guessed your fathering decisions, you are a good father. Bad fathers don’t wonder, struggle or second guess themselves, and in most cases, don’t even show up.” – Roy Wooten

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, “18.4 million children, 1 in 4, live without a biological, step or adoptive father in the home.” According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, Research is clear. A father’s absence affects children in numerous unfortunate ways while a father’s presence makes a positive difference in the lives of both children and mothers.

Effects of Father Absence on Children

Research shows that when a child is raised in a father-absent home, they are affected in the following ways:

  • Four times greater risk of poverty,
  • More likely to have behavior problems,
  • Two times great risk for infant mortality,
  • More likely to commit crime and go to prison,
  • Seven times more likely to become pregnant as a teen,
  • More likely to experience abuse and neglect,
  • More likely to abuse alcohol and drugs,
  • Two times more likely to drop out of school, and
  • Two times more likely to suffer obesity.

Effects of Father Presence on Children

Children with involved fathers have a strong foundation for child well-being.  They are at lower risk for a host of poor childhood outcomes including:

  • Low birth weight and infant mortality,
  • Emotional and behavioral problems,
  • Suicide,
  • Neglect and abuse,
  • Injury,
  • Poor school performance,
  • Teen pregnancy,
  • Juvenile incarceration,
  • Alcohol and substance abuse,
  • Criminal activity,
  • Poor social and emotional well-being, and
  • Sons becoming absent fathers themselves.

Involved Dads are Good for Moms

Mothers reap a host of benefits when fathers are involved during pregnancy and in the raising of children.  The effect of involved fathers on mothers include:

  • More likely to receive prenatal health care,
  • Less likely to smoke during pregnancy,
  • Healthier births,
  • Lower risk of post-partum stress and depression,
  • Lower parenting stress,
  • More leisure time, and
  • Higher marital satisfaction.

What’s Blocking You from Being the Dad You Want to Be?

In our work with over 6,000 men who’ve completed our weekends, we have discovered that a common block for men being the father they really want to be is usually within them.  The challenge is rarely what is outside of ourselves, it is what is going on inside our hearts and heads.  Some common blocks include the following:

  • Father Pattern – What you experienced in your interaction with your father, and/or father-figures, in your life can create challenges in your fathering. It is likely you made a choice to not be like your father in some way, but you find yourself accidentally doing the same thing.  Or you may not have experienced a father due to your father’s lack of presence in your life and you live with confusion without any model.
  • Stinking thinking – You bought into a lie about yourself early in life. It is your go-to thought-filter that you interpret the world around you through.   It probably sounds like, “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t have what it takes”, “I don’t matter”, “I’m broken and defective”, “I’m un-loveable”, “I’m not man-enough”, “I’m weak”, “I’m stupid”, etc. The lie keeps us from consistently engaging our children in healthy and clean ways.
  • Mama Drama – You have bought into the excuse that the reason you are not engaged with your children is their mother’s fault. You are blaming and complaining instead of taking responsibility. You have trouble finding how you have any responsibility for the situation.  Without responsibility, you are powerless and are unable to look for ways you can step into action toward being the father your children need most.
  • Independent – You are stuck in a pattern of interaction with your children that you do not like and do not want. You believe that you have to figure it out on your own.  You are afraid that if you engage friends in your life about the problem, they’ll reject you.  You believe you are the only one struggling with your fathering.

Be the Father God’s Called You to Be

Don’t do it alone.  Join a community of authentic, Christ-centered men who are living with integrity, grace and passion, fulfilling their God-given purpose.  Our Men’s Weekends are not filled with fatherhood tips and tricks.  God is using the weekend to heal the things inside men that keep them from being the father’s they really want to be.  Your children will thank you for what God will do in you on the weekend.