I have heard for years that managed conflict creates growth.  I have witnessed this as a fact.  I have been in or around many conflicts, and in most cases, when the conflict is appropriately handled, all parties involved grow.

In our group and weekend staff training, we often use the phrase “Growth Edge.” What is a “Growth Edge?” Simply defined, one may have hit a temporary plateau, and the “Growth Edge” is an area where one needs to grow and improve.  Here is an example:  Say I am working on my anger.  I have begun to be aware of what triggers my anger and have even improved on how often I may have angry outbursts. My next step in my growth or “Growth Edge” could be finding and implementing new strategies for handling my triggers.

We can become aware of our “Growth Edge” by paying attention to where we have “Plateaued” via a suggestion in our leadership development and/or being challenged by others in our growth.  Recently, I became aware of the importance that conflict plays in creating “Growth Edge” awareness.

How Conflict Helps Find Your Growth Edge

Recently, I decided on two teachers.  I created a method for one to train the other.  The man being trained had already stepped deeper into this area of his job.  However, I felt a need for him to obtain further guidance.  In my hope to better the teacher’s performance, I created a conflict.  The trainee felt he was being demoted.  The trainer took over more and trained less.  While visiting with each individually, I realized that each had a “Growth Edge.” The trainee could benefit from some growth in the area of pride.  The trainer could benefit from some growth in the area of control.  The conflict exposed an area of growth for both of them.

Furthermore, since the conflict was due to my decision, I realized I had a “Growth Edge” in the area of better communicating how I thought the training should go.  The conflict created was not a major issue.  It did not have a lot of emotional charge.  This conflict essentially was the divergence of three different expectations.  However, it was a conflict.

This example of a decision I made that created a conflict helped me to see deeper into conflict overall.  It helped me to see a great example of how managed conflict can facilitate growth.  Even more than facilitating growth, this scenario allowed me to identify another tool I can use to manage and possibly resolve conflict in the future.  This tool is the identifying of the “Growth Edge” as it relates to conflict.  As I was visiting with each teacher, I realized that each had contributed to this conflict based on an area of needed growth.  I then asked each one, “What might be a ‘Growth Edge’ for you?”  Then I asked, “What do you suppose the other man’s ‘Growth Edge’ might be?”  Finally, I told each one that my “Growth Edge” would be better communication of my expectations when asking one teacher to train another.  Once the “Growth Edges” were established, moving toward resolution became much easier.

Three Takeaways From This Scenario

Here are three takeaways from tagging the “Growth Edge” within a conflict based on the above scenario:

• At the root of many conflicts is a “Growth Edge” – The awareness that we all bring to the table a set of strengths and weaknesses is beneficial. Not only did all of us have a set of weaknesses to work on, we had a set of strengths.  The trainer’s strength is passion (out of balance, this is control).  The trainee’s strength is collaboration (out of balance, this is martyrdom).  My strength is quick decision-making (out of balance, this is haste).
• Identifying the “Growth Edge” shifts the focus – By asking each man and voicing my own “Growth Edge,” the focus was shifted inward instead of toward each other man’s contribution to the conflict.  The focus inward fosters personal responsibility and allows each party to begin a process toward mutual agreements around a conflict.
• The new focus creates a common ground – Now that the parties involved are aware of “Growth Edges” and have taken responsibility for themselves, a common ground may be established. Each person should be free to express unmet expectations.  A mutual agreement upon reaching goals, meeting expectations, and ground rules for moving forward will help the conflict move everyone toward a new objective.  This may be the beginning of a stronger, clearer working relationship.

How You Can Incorporate These Tools

With these tools, I am more aware of opportunities to defuse the intensity of a conflict.  When I am in the middle of conflict, I can better handle the situation by looking at how my “Growth Edge” contributed.  Identifying and analyzing the “Growth Edge” allows the focus of the conflict to move to a proper perspective.

Think about a current conflict for you or one you have recently experienced.

• What is your “Growth Edge?”
• What might be the other person’s “Growth Edge?”
• How might knowing that each person’s “Growth Edge” contributes to conflict assist you in moving forward?
• How has this line of thinking challenged you?

A Way to Supercharge Your Growth Edges

Here at The Crucible Project, we love to help people grow and experience a sense of freedom like no other. We encourage people to go to the path where they choose not to go to. This is where you can find many Growth Edges scenarios that can elicit tons of opportunities to grow as a person. We highly invite you to a free interview with one of our online coaches and get the mentorship that you need on a monthly basis to grow. There is no faster way to identify and recognize the conflicts and actions you need to take care of. Our online coaching is designed to help you do just that and more!

Look over our list of coaches and see which one resonates with you the most. Sign up for an interview now!