Faking It
Are you living wholeheartedly? Or are you managing, performing, hiding? Keeping just enough control to make things look fine from the outside while quietly falling apart inside.
You show up to work, to church, to your family even with smiles and strategies—but underneath, there’s fear. Anger. Loneliness. Shame. And a deep, gnawing sense that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
You don’t need another Bible study or leadership book to tell you that. You already know.
Jesus once confronted the religious leaders of his day for doing the same thing—getting the surface right while ignoring the deeper matters of the heart:
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees. You hypocrites! You tithe from your luxuries and your spices, giving away a tenth of your mint, your dill, and your cumin. But you have ignored the essentials of the law: justice, mercy, faithfulness... You spoon a fly from your soup and swallow a camel.” (Matt. 23:23–24)
What you might not know is how to stop pretending and start doing the work that actually changes you.
Faulty Tools
The problem with many of the tools intended to help us overcome “faking it” is that they only touch the surface. We get trained to modify behavior, clean up our image, and silence the parts of ourselves we’re ashamed of. But buried pain doesn’t disappear. It just leaks. It shows up in your marriage, your parenting, your leadership, your habits—everywhere.
And if you’re honest, you probably already see it. You’ve seen how short your fuse is. You’ve watched yourself shut down emotionally. You’ve felt the low-grade resentment building under the surface. You know something’s off—you just don’t want to slow down long enough to face it.
Because slowing down might mean facing your own soul. And that’s terrifying.
Transformation is Possible
Here’s the truth: nothing changes until you stop running. From your story. From your wounds. From the parts of yourself you’ve labeled “too much” or “not enough.”
The people who actually experience transformation are the ones who are willing to go there. To get in the room. To stop managing their image and start confronting what’s real. And not just privately with God—but face-to-face with others who won’t let you hide.
That’s what soul work is. It’s not cozy or inspirational. It’s surgical. It cuts through the crap. It exposes the lies you’ve believed about who you have to be to be loved. It dismantles the self-protective strategies you’ve built your life around.
And yes—it’s hard. But so is dragging your broken patterns through every relationship you care about. So is living with the constant fear of being found out. So is leading while disconnected from your own heart.
The Choice is Yours
You get to choose your hard.
Wholeness isn’t a reward for having it all together. It’s the result of doing the gritty, honest work of reclaiming who you were created to be. That work is possible. There are thousands of men and women – over 7400 – who have experience that work through The Crucible Project and now it’s your turn. Browse upcoming men’s and women’s retreats and pick your date now. Read the bios of available coaches and sign-up for a free introductory coaching session.
Stop hiding. Stop making excuses. Stop hoping your life will magically change while you stay comfortable.
Get in the room. Get your hands dirty. Do the work.
Everything else is just pretending.
Want to receive articles like this on a weekly basis? Sign up below!