My choices, my responsibility ... and my gold - The Crucible Project
I have been thinking a lot lately about my choices. 25 years in one profession has me wondering, “Did I make the right choice?” To this day, I still claim that I do not know what I want to be when I grow up. This claim is based out of honest feelings. This uncertainty of “Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing?” has me wondering if I am experiencing (25 years later) the consequences of the initial career choice I have made.
So, I brought this to my men’s group the other night. We usually voice each week … if given the opportunity, “What would I work on to be a better man tonight?” As is our custom, each man voiced his “work” for the night. Then, I began a series of questions based on my thoughts of late around my choices.
- What choice did I make to get me to this point where now, I want to work on being a better man? It all starts with a choice. Once I realize that I made a choice to be where I am, I begin to gain some power over my life. I become less of a victim.
- What were the perceived benefits of my choice? What payoff did I expect to receive when I made my choice? I would not have made this choice if I didn’t expect some sort of gain in my life. (Security, peace, power, relief, etc.)
- What was I trying to avoid when I made my choice? Ah, now we are getting somewhere! Was I avoiding negative perception of a risky choice? Was I avoiding emotional connection or commitment? Was I avoiding a fear of failure?
- What has been the ripple effect of my choice? Am I where I am supposed to be? Have I missed an opportunity for my choice? Have I been doing what God called me to do all along and just not see it? Who has been affected by my choice (both negatively and positively)?
- What statement can I make that reflects my taking 100% responsibility for my choice? Here I begin to have power over my choice. I begin to recognize what drove me to this choice. I can now move forward and step into contentment. I can also begin to look at the possibility of making a new choice.
- How is my “gold” reflected in my choice? There is a part of my God-given goodness within my choice. I believe that with every choice, there are generally good intentions based on our heart. From what place in my heart did I make this choice? And…what has been God’s blessing around my choice (The silver lining)?
- What measurable step can I take towards loving the part of me that made this choice? How do I live with my choice without judgment? What part of me that made the choice needs to be acknowledged, affirmed, and loved by me?
As we finished up the night, I was aware of how I felt. I did not get a clear answer about who I want to be when I grow up. However, I did gain some clarity around some things:
- I gained some clarity around what prompted my choice.
- I began to see some of God’s blessings and work based on my choice.
- I gained some peace about who I am despite my choice.
- I learned one more way in my life to take responsibility.
- I was able to get a glimpse into some more of my God-given goodness.
My challenge to you is to look at that one place where you feel you made a choice that you are now questioning. Work through the above questions. Ask God to walk alongside you as you reflect. Then walk as a person who is aware of your choices, your responsibility, and your gold.
– By Byron Myers
Byron completed his initial Crucible weekend in 2009. His deepest desire is to help believe in their God-given goodness and live lives of integrity, authenticity and feel loved and accepted. Byron recently published his first ebook, Weekly Devotional Thoughts: Weekly Applications of God’s Word. Byron is the High School Principal at Midland Christian School in Midland, TX. Follow Byron at Weekly Devotional Thoughts.