Moving Forward and Stepping Up

I notice a pattern of response when the unexpected happens. When I’m in a stressful season, I usually end up being less of who I am at my core. Instead of my thinking and actions coming from my authentic self, a shadow takes the wheel and starts driving me. My mind stays looking in the rearview mirror at the stressor and I am unaware of all of my emotions.

If I do not watch out for it, I can find myself spiraling into victimhood. I am not taking action toward my goals, but instead, my attention is on feeling something other than the feelings I am wallowing in. I become convinced that it is not my fault that I am feeling this way, but it is some other person’s fault.

I have experienced the same pattern in many people over my lifetime. For some reason, it is easier to see in others than it is in myself. I wonder if that is also true of you.

Moving Forward

Coaching is vitally important to me. One of the great things about working with a coach is that it begins to bring my victimhood into my awareness. Sometimes just through the process of self-reflection prompted by the coach, and other times through direct support and feedback.

The first step is always to take responsibility for where my head is. It is to move from complaining and blaming into full responsibility for my contribution to the issue. Even when I did not create the unexpected event, I must take responsibility for my response to it or I cannot and will not be able to move forward.

Moving forward does not mean ignoring what happened or pretending that it did not happen. It is not forgetting any lessons from what happened. It is not letting the thing that happened become my identity. It is recognizing that I must take responsibility for my recovery from the wound so that it can someday be a healed scar.

Stepping Up

Taking responsibility hurts. It’s painful when I realize that I am part of the problem. But it is also freeing. Instead of feeling stuck, I find my power to take some action to do something about it. Finding my power again moves my sight from the rearview mirror to the front windshield. My focus is on the future.

The realization that I have my power back always feels good to me. But unless I step up and take action, not much will change. I find my way to being stuck in victimhood again before too long. I must take action so that I can step back into my authentic self.

Here again, coaching is vitally important. Intentionally doing my soul work with the guidance of a coach provides me with the courage to take the next right step. I get good, solicited advice from a trusted advisor. By moving forward and stepping up, I find my authentic self again.

If you are not working with a coach, find one. Stop the excuses and seek out a guide to help you move forward and step up. We can help you find a coach who is right for you. Just let us know you are looking. The time is now.