| February 17th, 2024

Weak Will Power

“For god gave us not a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control.”

 – 2 Timothy 1:7

You are not achieving your goals and becoming the person you really want to be because you are living unaware and blind to the choices you have made. You made choices earlier in your life that have become your default. You are running on autopilot making unconscious “in real time” decisions.

You regularly eat the food item that you love the most that is not good for your health. You make a commitment to yourself that you will get healthy. But you also made an earlier commitment, perhaps unconsciously, that you will attend all birthday functions. So you put yourself in the restaurant where your favorite food or beverage is or at the birthday party where it’s socially unacceptable not to eat or drink it. Your will power to deny yourself the thing you love is absent or greatly diminished as you decide at the last minute what to do.

You Remain Blind to Your Choices

That’s true with all you want to achieve. Your “in real time” choice betrays your goals because you are living on autopilot.

  • You want to write a book or finish a certification, but you spend 8 hours weekly doom scrolling instead.
  • You want to improve your marriage and fall back in love again, but instead of dating and deepening your conversations, you sit in the same room watching mindless entertainment hardly speaking to each other.
  • You want to be physically fit, but you hit the snooze and you end up “not having enough time” to work out.
  • You want to be more generous to a cause you love, but you do not take action on the things you say you want to do that will bring in more income or reduce expenses.

Stop Trading Your Future Best Self for Now

The person you really want to be deep in your heart will never bless the world because you are making choices that trade your best self for pleasure or comfort in the moment. Operating in default mode, you will never get to where you want to go. You will never achieve your goals by remaining in autopilot.

“At its core, growing in willpower, or self-control, is really about learning to pay attention.

It’s training the mind to recognize when you are making a choice, and when you are acting out of habit or on autopilot. In a sense, growing in self-awareness is the key to unlocking your willpower.”

– Kelly McGonigal

Self-Awareness is the Key to Your Will Power

Start now. Take a hard look at the choices you make that keep you from being the best version of yourself. If video surveillance of you were happening constantly, what moment-by-moment choices would it reveal? Are the choices you make moving you toward the goals you say you want? Are your choices moving you toward being more like Christ and a better version of yourself?

“You can’t wait until Sunday morning to make the decision about whether you are worshiping with your community of faith or not. That game-day decision is almost always a choice to not be part of a church community.” – Roy Wooten

Making a Different Choice

Getting out of autopilot requires you to make different choices in order to get different results. It requires doing something with the awareness of the choices that are not serving your goals. You will have to back your decision making up so that you do not have to make it in real time.

  • Set your work clothes in the car the night before and your gym clothes next to the bed. Turn your snooze option off. These choices will set you up for your physical health goals.
  • Eat healthy before you go to the birthday party. Decide what you will order before you get to the restaurant. Practice politely refusing the cake before you arrive.
  • Go to bed at a reasonable time on Saturday night. Set out the kid’s clothes. Set the alarm so that there is enough time for everyone to get dressed. Go to church as a family.
  • Negotiate evening device and TV fasts. Help everyone get on the same page with it. Plan what you will do instead of doom scrolling and binge watching.
  • Plan a date. Get the childcare lined up. Put it in your schedule and protect that important investment in your marriage. Turn your phone off and enjoy your spouse.

Becoming a Better Version of Yourself

Over 6,900 souls have been through a Crucible Weekend Retreat. God met them there as they wrestled with 100% responsibility of their choices. They are living with integrity, grace and courage, fulfilling their God-given potential. Our weekends are not easy.  You will have the opportunity to grow in self-awareness, and you might not like what you see. Check out if you are ready to get real about your choices at one of our Men’s Weekends or Women’s Weekends. Or make a huge commitment by joining the 2 Year Transformational Program. Or find a personal and confidential coach right now while the first coaching session is free.