Compass Resources for When It’s Fine…But It’s Not
“Lie number one – you’re supposed to have it all together. And when they ask how you’re doing just smile and tell them, ‘Never better.’ Lie number 2 – everybody’s life is perfect except yours. So keep your messes and your wounds and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors.” Truth be Told by Matthew West and Carly Pearce
These lyrics resonate with so many of us. In a world where Instagram filters beautify our flaws and social media portrays only the highlights of our lives, it is easy to fall into the trap of pretending that everything is fine, especially when everything is far from it. We put on a mask, paint a smile on our faces, and tell everyone that we are okay, even when we are drowning in struggles. But what lies beneath this facade? Why do we struggle so much to say, “I’m not fine”?
The Lies
Part of the problem lies in the fear of judgment. We are afraid of what others might think of us if we reveal our true selves, or worse, what we might think of ourselves. We are scared that our weaknesses, imperfections, and vulnerabilities will make us less lovable or less valuable in the eyes of others. We fear that admitting we are not fine will be seen as a sign of weakness. But here is the truth: It is okay not to be fine.
In fact, there is tremendous freedom to be found in stepping into radical honesty. When we have the courage to say, “I’m not fine,” we open the door to healing, connection, and radical grace. It is a vulnerable act, but also an act of incredible strength.
Radical Honesty, Radical Grace
Radical honesty invites others into our world. When we share our struggles, we allow others to see the real us—the imperfect, messy, beautifully flawed human being. Sharing radical honesty allows us to discover a radical truth: most others are struggling too, even if they do not openly show it. By being honest, we give others permission to do the same. We create authentic connections, deep friendships, and a sense of belonging that is far more valuable than any perfectly curated social media feed.
But radical honesty is not just about receiving grace from others. It is also about receiving grace from God. Acknowledging your imperfections and confessing your struggles is a powerful act of surrender. It is an acknowledgment that you cannot do it all on your own, and that is okay. It is an invitation for grace to enter your life.
Let the Truth Be Told
In the words of Matthew West, “There’s no failure, no fall, there’s no sin you don’t already know.” God already knows your struggles, your pain, and your imperfections. You are not fooling anyone by pretending to be fine. But when you embrace radical honesty, you open yourself up to radical grace. You invite divine healing into your life.
If you are struggling to find a community that values radical honesty and offers radical grace, consider learning more about The Crucible Project, a place for the sinner, the scarred, and the prodigals. During weekend retreats, participants are encouraged to embrace authenticity and vulnerability, recognizing that healing begins with acknowledging our brokenness.
These retreat experiences, along with coaching and group opportunities, are a powerful way to experience transformation. In a safe and supportive environment, you will have the opportunity to share your struggles, fears, and doubts. You will connect with others who are on their own journeys of healing and self-discovery. And most importantly, you will encounter radical grace.
Life On the Other Side
Drop the mask, shed the pretense, and be yourself without fear of judgment. Be part of a community where your hurts, fears, judgments, and bad decisions are received and accepted and grace is given back in return. Discover life on the other side of hiding. That is what the Crucible Project offers—a place where you can let the truth be told.
The world may tell you to smile and pretend everything is fine, but that probably has not given you the actual results in your life that you want. You do not have to listen to that lie one second longer than you are willing. Embrace radical honesty, both with yourself and with others. Find a community that values authenticity and grace. Let the truth be told, and watch as radical grace transforms your life.