Motherly Influences

This Mother’s Day, we honor every mother and mother-figure who has stood in the gap, who has led with love, and who has carried more than words could ever express. May you be seen, celebrated, and surrounded by gratitude this Mother's Day.

The Foundation of Your Circle

There’s a saying: A great mother always leads you to the right path. But what if you’ve strayed? What if the path she led you to no longer feels clear? Or what if, truth be told, she wasn’t there to lead you at all, or led you down a dangerous path filled with uncertainty and volatility?

Whether your mother was nurturing, absent, overbearing, or somewhere in between, her influence left fingerprints on your life. And here’s the hard truth: your current circle—the people you trust, the support you lean on, the ones you let in—reflects that influence.

We don’t like to admit it. But the way we attach, seek approval, set boundaries, or even choose partners and friends often echoes the earliest relationship we ever had: the one with the woman who first held (or didn’t hold) us.

The Hidden Map from Childhood

If you look closely, your childhood is like a map scribbled with invisible ink, now showing up in your adult relationships. Were you taught to believe love must be earned? That caretaking is the only way to belong? That conflict equals rejection?

Every friend, every mentor, every partner—there's a strong chance they somehow connect back to that original script. Your current circle didn’t just happen; it was shaped by the patterns you learned under motherly influence.

For many of us, a spouse, partner, mother figure, or close friend takes on the role of primary emotional support—and often, that role mirrors or compensates for the mother we either had, or wished we had.

The Number 1 Pillar In Your Support System

At the center of your support system, there’s often one woman who holds everything together. She might be your mother, your spouse, a mentor, or a trusted friend. For some, she’s a refuge; for others, she’s a mirror showing hard truths you’d rather avoid. Either way, she shapes the stability (or instability) of your inner world.

Here’s the challenge: what kind of weight are you placing on her? Is she holding more than she was designed to carry? Have you allowed her voice to be the only voice in your journey? Have you shut her out completely out of bitterness or self-protection?

A great mother leads you to the right path. But no mother—or mother figure—can walk that path for you.

“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.” — Proverbs 1:8-9

Resources for Examination

If you’re ready to examine the influence of motherly figures in your life, here are a few tools:

Name the voices. Write down the phrases you often hear in your head when you make decisions. Which ones sound like your mom? Your partner? Yourself?
Audit your circle. List the five people you spend the most time with. What do they reflect about how you see love, trust, and support?
Balance the weight. If your mother, partner, or closest friend is the primary (or only) emotional pillar, consider broadening your support system. Seek mentors, safe friends, or a coach who can walk with you. A certified Crucible coach may be a great resource for this journey.
Forgive and release. If bitterness, resentment, or unmet expectations are lingering, explore ways to forgive—even if reconciliation isn’t possible. A Crucible men's or women's retreat provide an intense weekend experience where you can explore these themes and more.