The Sickness Of Beating Ourselves Up


Today, I am sick. I have a cold, a stupid cold. And it’s not respecting my schedule of things I need to get done.

So today I want to talk briefly about men, illness, and their bodies.

And about how men respond to being sick by withdrawing themselves from God’s love and mercy.

  • Have you ever been sick and felt guilty about it?
  • Have you felt like you are probably just faking it, even though you struggle to get out of bed?
  • Have you felt like there must be something wrong with you — not your body, but with you, the man — because you are ill, and unable to perform as well as you usually do?

That’s the world for most men. We want to Get Things Done. And if we’re not getting things done, we are beating up on ourselves up about it.

My mind is fuzzy. I have a hard time concentrating. I’ve used up all the tissue in the house and am thinking of just using a bed sheet instead of getting more tissues somewhere.

So what is my helpful brain telling me today?

  • “You’re being lazy.”
  • “You’d better get your act together, a lot is counting on you.”
  • “You ought to be able to think clearly.”
  • “You should be over this by now.”
  • “You can’t afford to feel this way.”
  • “You sure are sick a lot.”

Can you relate to that?

What’s notable about this is how ridiculous and unmerciful it all is. It really reveals how, as a Christian man, part of me still believes God’s love is there for me unconditionally … as long as I’m performing well.

Can you relate to that, too?

This is the challenge of sickness, and the opportunity: To open to His love and His mercy, His compassion, His blessing, even when you’re sick and falling behind and really not good for doing anything other than Netflix and Cough. Take this opportunity to reflect on these questions:

  • Where in your life are you still counting on being “good enough” to “deserve” His blessing?
  • Can you see how that part of yourself is small and hurting, needy and helpless — and reveal part to God and feel His mercy for you—right now?

That’s my struggle today. And I think it’s important that you take on that struggle, too.

By Dmitri Bilgere

Dmitri is a Crucible leader, leader-trainer, and author of “Gateways to God: Remove Your Roadblocks and Live His Love,” currently downloadable for FREE at

Photo Credit: Lenoid Mamchenkov via Creative Commons