Strong Enough to Forgive
What if forgiveness is not really about them—but about you?
We tend to treat forgiveness like a gift for someone else—a pass, a way of letting them off the hook. But the truth? Forgiveness is one of the most radical, freeing acts of strength you will ever choose. It is not weakness. It is not submission. It is the refusal to keep dragging the weight of bitterness, anger, or pain through your life.
Scripture is relentless on this point:
“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” —Colossians 3:13
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:32
Jesus modeled it from the cross—offering forgiveness to the very ones who crucified Him—without their confession, apology, or change of heart.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: Forgiveness is less about the offender and more about the one doing the forgiving. As Lewis Smedes put it, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
What Forgiveness Is—and Isn’t
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t excuse the harm. It doesn’t magically restore trust. It does not require reconciliation. You can forgive someone you will never see again. You can forgive the dead. You can forgive without informing the other person. Forgiveness can be a silent, private decision—a holy transaction between you and God.
As Dr. Thema Bryant says, “You can forgive someone and choose to never see them again.” Forgiveness and boundaries are not enemies. You can let go of the offense while keeping your distance. You can choose freedom without choosing closeness.
And science agrees with Scripture here—those who forgive are healthier, less anxious, less depressed, and more at peace. According to the Mayo Clinic, forgiveness even improves your immune system and lowers your blood pressure.
The Power Shift
Mark Twain wrote, “Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” You forgive not because they deserve it, but because you are strong enough to offer it. Forgiveness is refusing to let someone else’s actions dictate the condition of your soul.
Forgiveness is power—not over them, but within you. The power to heal. The power to let go. The power to grow.
Like the towering redwoods on the coast of California, we are meant to stand for centuries—not because we are untouched, but because we are rooted. Redwoods survive storms and fire by intertwining their roots. Our capacity to forgive grows the same way—deep roots in God, nourished through His grace, connected to the strength of others.
Your Invitation
If there’s a name, a wound, or a betrayal you’ve been clutching—maybe today is the day to start the quiet, courageous work of forgiveness. Not for them. For you.
Step into the freedom God offers. Join us at a Crucible men's or women's retreat yet where you can do the deep soul work that leads to lasting release. Don’t wait another year to be free.
Because you are strong enough to forgive.