Toxic Beliefs

You Didn’t Choose These Beliefs—But You Can Choose What Comes Next

Most of us didn’t consciously choose the beliefs that shaped us. They were handed down—by parents and other family members, coaches, mentors, and the broader culture. We absorbed them, modeled them, lived them – and most of the time it was unintentional. What you experienced is what you believed was the standard of living.

But just because you learned something doesn’t mean you have to keep living by it.

Unlearning takes courage. It takes strength to pause and ask: “Is this belief helping me become who God created me to be?”

If that question hits home—you’re not alone. You’re not weak. You’re just done pretending.

5 Cultural Lies That Are Wrecking Us (and the Truth That Sets Us Free)

1. “Don’t talk about your feelings.”

Whether directly or subtly, many are taught to bottle up their emotions, push pain down, and present a steady front – no lows too low and no highs too high. But that kind of silence doesn’t make us stronger—it breeds shame. And shame grows in the dark.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
— Galatians 6:2 (NIV)

Real strength starts when we speak what’s real. There’s freedom in being known. God invites us into authentic community. Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s the doorway to healing.

2. “If you can’t fix it, you’ve failed.”

We’re conditioned to be problem-solvers. But not every wound needs a solution—some just need space, presence, and prayer. Trying to fix everything can leave us frustrated and disconnected. You are not a failure if you can’t fix it all.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”
— Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

Stillness isn’t passive—it’s powerful. Sometimes, trusting God means letting go of the need to fix and choosing to stay faithfully present.

3. “Your worth is in what you provide.”

Work is valuable. God created us to work and be productive going back to the very beginning – Adam was tasked with naming all the animals and tending the garden. But when our identity gets tangled up in productivity, burnout isn’t far behind. Exhaustion sets in when you’re only as valuable as what you achieve. You were made for more than paying bills and meeting deadlines. You’re loved for who you are, not just what you do.

“What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?”
— Mark 8:36 (NIV)

You are more than your output. Your value doesn’t come from what you do—it comes from Whose you are.

4. “You can’t figure out faith on your own.”

Many of us have picked up the unspoken idea that spiritual growth is for the “qualified”—that pastors, leaders, or someone more “holy” has to explain everything before we can draw near to God ourselves. We’re taught to wait for someone else to guide us. To believe we’re not enough on our own.

But the truth is this: you can meet God right where you are—today. You don’t need a degree, a church title, or perfect theology to begin. You can start with a prayer. Pick up a Bible. Ask your real questions.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”
— Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV)

God never said you have to have it all figured out first. He promised that when you seek Him—He’ll meet you there. Faith isn’t just something taught. It’s something lived. And you have full permission to begin. Don’t outsource your soul.

5. “Just push through.”

On the surface, this sounds noble: grit, hustle, resilience. But this type of “push through” strength is just a lie in disguise. When we always push and never pause, it leads to disconnection—from God, from others, from ourselves. Even Jesus wept. Even He rested. You are allowed to be human. Tears aren’t weakness—they’re holy.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

God isn’t asking you to push harder. He’s inviting you to come closer—and to rest in Him.

You Didn't Make This Stuff Up—But You Get to Choose What Comes Next

You didn’t invent these beliefs. You absorbed them—from voices you trusted, from culture, from experiences that shaped you. But now, you get to choose what stays—and what gets left behind.

You have permission to question the narrative. To ask, “Is this really helping me become who God made me to be?” To trade false strength for true freedom. To let the Word of God reshape your story from the inside out.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
— John 8:32 (NIV)

You were made for wholeness.
You were made for freedom.
You were made for more.

Take the Next Step

If this stirred something in you—don’t stop here. Come take a deeper look at the beliefs driving your life.

Join a Crucible Men’s or Women’s Weekend, where you’ll have space to unpack these lies in the presence of others on the same journey. Or engage with a Crucible Coach to explore your story one-on-one.

Because the lies don’t lose power until they’re brought into the light. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Reflection Questions

What belief have you carried that feels heavy or exhausting—but you’ve never questioned it?
Where have you felt the tension between who you’re “supposed to be” and who God is inviting you to become?
What would it look like to take just one step toward truth and freedom this week?
Who can you invite into that journey with you—so you’re not walking alone?