When the Holidays Hurt
The holidays are supposed to be a season of joy—but for many, they highlight what’s missing. Empty chairs at the table. Relationships that feel strained. Silence where laughter used to live. Loneliness has a way of getting louder this time of year.
And it’s not just people who are isolated by circumstance. Some of the loneliest people you’ll meet are surrounded by others—busy, smiling, and quietly aching inside.
The truth is, we all carry loneliness at times. The difference is whether we face it with honesty or hide it behind performance.
“I’m Fine.”
The most common lie during the holidays is also the simplest one: “I’m fine.” We say it to keep things light, to avoid awkwardness, or because we think others have it worse. But isolation grows in that silence.
God never meant for us to manage life alone. From the beginning, He said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” That wasn’t just about marriage—it was about the human design for relationship. Connection is not a luxury. It’s a lifeline.
When we ignore loneliness—our own or someone else’s—we cut ourselves off from the very grace that heals it.
Belonging Is Built, Not Found
Belonging doesn’t happen by accident. It’s created through intentional presence, empathy, and shared service. You can’t wait for connection to come to you; you build it by moving toward others.
If you sense someone nearby is lonely, don’t wait for the perfect words. Show up. Listen. Share a meal. Include them in something ordinary. Volunteering, serving, or inviting others to join you in giving back can be holy work. It says, “You matter. You’re not invisible.”
Empathy doesn’t require fixing someone’s pain—it just requires refusing to let them sit in it alone.
Be the One Who Reaches Out
If you want this holiday season to feel different, start here:
- Look around you. Who might be spending the holidays alone? Reach out before the day arrives.
- Share what you have. An extra plate at your table. A conversation. A walk. A text that says, “I was thinking about you.”
- Serve together. Volunteering connects you with others who are also choosing compassion over comfort. It shifts focus from what’s missing to what matters most.
Reconnect Where It Matters Most
The holidays reveal both our ache for connection and our capacity to create it. This year, instead of numbing through busyness or waiting for someone else to reach out, take initiative. Be the one who helps others feel seen and known.
If loneliness runs deeper than a season, take a courageous step toward healing. Join a men’s retreat or a women’s retreat and discover what authentic connection feels like when masks drop and hearts open. Or begin Crucible Coaching to learn how to build community that lasts beyond the holidays.
You were never meant to live disconnected. Neither were they. This year, let’s make sure no one sits alone.