Act Like a Man…
What does it mean to be mature? And what images surface when we hear the word immature? Many of us picture a man doing something foolish—like riding his bike off a roof—and label that immaturity. Yet that kind of risk-taking is more accurately a poorly planned adventure than true childishness.
In 1 Corinthians 13:11, Paul writes, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” Paul isn’t condemning playfulness or curiosity. He is pointing to a deeper pattern—one that shows up most clearly in our emotional lives.
Most men don’t wake up intending to erupt at their wives, children, or coworkers. Yet something happens in the middle of an ordinary day, and suddenly a man finds himself flooded with anger or fear. Later, he often wonders, Where did that come from?
Much of the answer lies in how God designed our brains. Our emotional and relational centers move as fast as a plane, while our logical reasoning moves more like a train. When we are young, the emotional system develops first, without the life experience needed to understand or name what we are feeling. Wounds from that season can settle in our hearts without any logical framework to help us process them.
As adults, those unprocessed experiences can resurface in surprising ways. A familiar tone of voice, a certain phrase, or a moment of stress can activate old emotional memories. And in that instant, the child-version of us reacts before the man has time to engage. The result is an out-of-balance response—rage, withdrawal, sarcasm, control, shutdown. The emotion is real, but the reaction belongs to the boy, not the man.
We can use the metaphor of a bus: you are the driver, and somewhere behind you sits your inner boy. Ideally, he rides along safely while the adult you makes the decisions. But when we’re triggered, that little boy reaches forward, grabs the wheel, and starts steering as though he’s in a game of Mario Kart. He’s convinced danger is ahead, but he lacks the maturity and perspective to navigate it.
This may be part of what Paul meant by “childish ways.” And one of the most childish beliefs men tend to hold is that we can simply will ourselves into maturity. But maturity is not self-manufactured—it is formed with Jesus.
The invitation is not for Jesus to magically “fix” the boy inside us. Rather, we ask Him to walk with us as men into that wounded space. Jesus helps us uncover what our younger selves longed for at the moment of pain. He brings truth to the boy’s confusion and logic to the boy’s fear.
Jesus also helps us recognize triggers in real time. He reminds us that the present moment is not the past story. And when we inevitably overreact, He empowers us to recover quickly—repenting, repairing, and restoring what was harmed.
There is no formula for maturity, but there are faithful steps we can take to “meet Jesus in the gap”:
Step Back: Pause. Ask yourself, Who is driving right now—the man or the child? Is this reaction childish?
Pray: This isn’t polished or formal prayer. It sounds like, “God, what is going on with me here?”
Ask Jesus: Invite Him to show you what is true and to reveal the lies you are hearing. Reject those lies in His name, and let Him speak truth over you.
Recover: Reflect with honesty. What wound or fear rose up? What part of the child took over? If sin occurred, repent. And wherever harm was done, restore the relationship quickly.
Growing into maturity is a lifelong process of letting Jesus integrate our story—past and present—so the man He is shaping in us can truly take the wheel.
Reporting Out
Now the year begins to wind down. Our only initial retreat left this year is the Houston retreat, December 5-7. Mission is offered on the same dates in Connecticut.
However, just because only two retreats remain for 2025, does not mean the planning for 2026 starts in 2026. Recruiting (both staff and participants) for 2026 is now. In fact, the most effective mentality is one of, “Who needs this?” year-round.
Upcoming Trainings
The Men’s Ministry and Women's Ministry are coordinating calendars to schedule upcoming trainings for 2026. We are awaiting the trainers' dates and will publish as soon as we have them. Stay tuned for the 2026 schedule soon.
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January-February, Thursdays 9:00 AM – 11:00 AM: Advanced Process Training: Sovereign & God-Split, Risk Manager & What’s at Risk with Lisa Modrzejewski. Sign up here.
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March-April, Thursdays 9:00 AM – 11:00 AM: Advanced Process Training: Sage & Predator, & Shadow Reversal with Lisa Modrzejewski. Sign up here.
- All of these trainings can be found on our Redwoods Training Schedule page.
Tips and Tricks
Pay attention to where those around you are in their lives. Gracefully speak some of the concepts of integrity, responsibility, blessing, etc. into them. Show them what your retreat follow up has been for you.
As always, I am available to you if you need any other guidance.
Upcoming Retreats
Be in prayer for these retreats:
- December 5-7, Initial – Houston, TX
- December 5-8, Mission - Connecticut
- January 9-11, Initial - Bergton, VA
Groups
Continue to follow up with men and keep them engaged. You can engage them by encouraging them to lead Exploration groups. You can gather men and create a Journey group. Men can join a curriculum driven Growth Group. It is never too late to join the 2-year program.
We need all our group leaders to register their groups on the website – Group Leaders, fill out the form at the bottom of this page ASAP!!
Reach out to Men's Ministry if you have questions about groups and/or group leading.
Finally
Who you truly are: You are not the sum of your wounds. They helped you to grow. Now go a be the man you know you are called to be.
Blessings,
Byron Myers