Resources

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What does Giving - Give to You?

This time of year, most of us are giving to church, charity, friends and family. It just feels good to bless others around the holidays.

But did you know there’s more to generosity than that warm, fuzzy feeling you get in your heart? Researchers have been exploring how generosity affects our health for years. And, as it turns out, philanthropy comes with a lot of perks.

Read this short feature financial guru Dave Ramsey unpacks how giving gives to you!

Finding Rest

Three books on Rest and the Spiritual Discipline of Sabbath & Retreat.

"The Rest of God" by Mark Buchanan.

Widely-acclaimed author Mark Buchanan states that what we've really lost is "the rest of God-the rest God bestows and, with it, that part of Himself we can know only through stillness." Stillness as a virtue is a foreign concept in our society, but there is wisdom in God's own rhythm of work and rest. Jesus practiced Sabbath among those who had turned it into a dismal thing, a day for murmuring and finger-wagging, and He reminded them of the day's true purpose: liberation-to heal, to feed, to rescue, to celebrate, to lavish and relish life abundant.

"Rhythms of Rest: Finding the Spirit of Sabbath in a Busy World" by Shelly Miller. 

Sabbath-keeping not only brings physical refreshment, it restores the soul. God commands us to "remember the Sabbath," but is it realistic in today's fast-paced culture? In this warm and helpful book, Shelly Miller dispels legalistic ideas about Sabbath and shows how even busy people can implement a rhythm of rest into their lives--whether for an hour, a morning, or a whole day. With encouraging stories from people in different stages in life, Miller shares practical advice for having peaceful, close times with God. You will learn simple ways to be intentional about rest, ideas for tuning out distractions and tuning in God, and even how meals and other times with friends and family can be Sabbath experiences.

Invitation to Retreat: The Gift and Necessity of Time Away with God by Ruth Hailey Barton.

In these pages Transforming Center founder and seasoned spiritual director, Ruth Haley Barton, gently and eloquently leads us into an exploration of retreat as a key practice that opens us to God. Based on her own practice and her experience leading hundreds of retreats for others, she will guide you in a very personal exploration of seven specific invitations contained within the general invitation to retreat. You will discover how to say yes to God's winsome invitation to greater freedom and surrender.

Cultivating Growth in Faith

by Chris Cleghorn

I made an intentional commitment for Christ when I was 20 years old. Even before that I had formational input from years in church. One of the challenges of my Christian walk has been a lifelong wrestling with on again, off again devotional life – regular time with God. I experience a sense of connection with God when I’m intentional about spending time with God.

There are a lot resources about cultivating the Christian walk. Perhaps the best is the classic by Richard Foster “Celebration of Discipline”. This was first publishes 40 years ago and has been recently updated and re-released. It is a timeless guide helping seekers discover a richer spiritual life with a deeper understanding of God. Many call this the best modern book of Christian spirituality.

My own pattern for the last couple of years has been a near daily commitment to doing three simple things. The first is the simple premise of spending time with God – setting aside at least 30 minutes, usually first thing in the morning. So, I’m present. Then I read a piece of scripture. I prefer to read just a few verses usually working slowly through one of the Gospels, to spend time with Jesus. Then I do about 20 minutes of centering prayer. A key for me, after years of trying to “think my way to God” is to move my experience from my head to my heart, to move my time with God to my body. This is where in Crucible we do much of our work.

Two resources on Centering Prayer are Fr. Thomas Keating who is widely credited with reviving this ancient practice and Cynthia Bourgeault a mystic who wrote “Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening”.

F**k Shame

I have heard that phrase several times on weekends since my initial weekend in Houston in April 2010. I said it and believed it for myself and for other men. I hated shame and thought I had dealt with it. Then in January of 2018, I was hit with a part of my shadow that I have hidden since I was 15 years old and the flood of shame came over me like a crushing wave. Not knowing how to deal with it sent me into a deep depression which led to isolation, hiding and even suicidal thoughts.

How the hell did I not see this toxic shame and why had it not come to light in the work that I had been doing until now?  I knew that just saying “f**k shame” was not going to get me out of this place.

The first thing I did was finally talk to two of my redwoods in the Houston community (after living with this shame for 6 months) and they gave me such grace and mercy that I knew I was not alone and that I could deal with my shame with them by my side.

Second, I came clean with my wife, which sucked, but allowed us to share intimacy like never before.

Third, I went to resources to help deal with shame.  My hope is that you experience hope.

I first listened to Brené Brown's Ted Talk on shame:

Here is a quote I found very helpful, “If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgement. If you put the same amount of shame in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.” I found this to be true. When I started to share the shame I had walked in for over 40 years with men who showed me deep empathy, it started to crumble around me.

The second resource I turned to was the book “The Soul of Shame” by Dr. Curt Thompson.

The tag line for the book is “Retelling the stories we believe about ourselves”.  What helped me initially was Dr. Thompson's explanation of the brain and how there is a neurobiological response to shame that will rewire our brains when it comes on.  “Shame has a tendency to disrupt the process of 'regulating the flow of energy and information' by effectively disconnecting various functions of the mind from one another, leaving each domain of the mind as cut off from one another as we feel ourselves to be disconnected from other people."

Shame had come to me at an early age and I had not dealt with it.  That caused my brain to not function as it was meant to function. This helped me realize why shame had been so incredibly toxic in my life and how I had nor realized that I had shut it down. Two of the chapters I found especially helpful were the chapters on “Shame and the Biblical Narrative” (which has been around from the beginning of time) and “Shame’s Remedy: Vulnerability” (which I think speaks to the importance of The Crucible Project,  continuing our work, and being in small groups). Highly recommended.

The third resource that I found helpful was “No More Mr. Nice Guy” By Dr. Robert Glover.

The tag line for this book is, “A proven plan for getting what you want in love, sex and life”. It has helped me realize why I had struggled with many things about being a “man” in my life which brought its own message of shame that I “was not a real man”.

The chapters that spoke to me in this book were, “The Making of a Nice Guy” (which I related to big time), “Make your Needs a Priority” (which I told myself all my life if I did would make me selfish and not very “Christian”) and “Reclaim Your Personal Power” (which again feels great to take on if you have ever struggled with wondering “is this OK?”). Both books are easy reads but challenging.

As I sit here writing this, I can’t believe how far I have come since January of 2018. The shit storm of shame hit me hard and nearly took me out. But thanks to men who love me, walk with me and challenge me, to a wife who showed me great mercy and forgiveness, to my Pastor who walked with me for the past few months and allowed my honesty and for these resources I am in a totally different place.

Men, do your work, tell your truth, and use the resources God has provided us with to deal with toxic shame. I would love to know what resources have helped you. I would love to hear from you if you would like to talk about shame or have resources that have helped you. aspell@westhoustonchurch.org

God bless you all,

Andy Spell

Badass Grizzly Bear

Additional Resources:

Dan Allender's website on Shame

Am I a Sex Addict?

While a few of us were driving back from a Crucible graduation, we got on the topic of sex and addiction.  One of the men asked me if I considered looking at porn "an addiction or a compulsion."

That led to a very deep and vulnerable conversation.

It is clear biblically that we are to strive to be sexually pure:

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body." - 1 Corinthaisn 6:18

"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people." - Ephesians 5:3

Sexual integrity isn't just what we do with our bodies.  Jesus makes it clear that purity starts with our minds:

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." - Matthew 5:28

If you start to feel some guilt from reading these, please keep this in mind:

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9

Our culture now has more accessible resources for intense sexual gratification than ever before in the entire history of mankind!  Sexual integrity issues are the great shameful secret many men don't discuss.

Neurologists have done studies that show sexual addiction is eerily similar to heroin addiction.  Peruse TED talks on the topic.  Even The World Health Organization recognizes this issue.

God's ultimate goal for us is Total Transformation.  So how do I know if I'm addicted to sex?

Ask yourself these questions:

Where you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?

Have you subscribed or regularly purchased/rented sexually explicit magazines or videos?

Did your parents have trouble with their sexual or romantic behaviors?

Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?

Has your involvement with pornography, phone sex, computer board sex, etc. become greater than your intimate contacts with romantic partners?

Do you look forward to events with friends or family being over so that you can go out to have sex?

Do you keep the extent or nature of your sexual activities hidden from your friends and/or partners?

Have you ever paid for sex?

Have you ever had sex with someone just because you were feeling aroused and later felt ashamed or regretted it?

When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?

Is sex your greatest need?

If you answered 'yes' to a good many of these questions, I encourage you to reach out - especially to a professional counselor that has training in sexual issues. There are groups of men around the country supporting each other.

There is no shame in seeking to be a healthy man.

Remember, God's ultimate goal for us is Total Transformation.

For more resources, go to LIFE Recovery (http://freedomeveryday.org)

Movie Clips about our Work

Many movies contain themes or scenes that remind of The Crucible Project work.  Perhaps it’s a process on a weekend, or a big theme we work on after the weekend, here’s a few scenes that remind us of our work.  

Les Miserables

In this powerful performance by Hugh Jackson as Jean Valjean - he promises to use the Bishop’s act of grace to turn his life around.   The themes of repentance, transformation, self-awareness abound.  Did you experience those same themes in your Crucible work?

Unbroken

As a young boy, Louie’s brother encourages him to run even though he doubts himself.  His brother tells him, "I believe in you."  Where have you been given that same message?  Maybe on your initial weekend? To whom can you give that message to today?

If you have other movies/scenes we should highlight - send a message to communications@thecrucibleproject.org and let us know!!

Read Scripture App

The single most important spiritual discipline is to be listening to what God has to say to us. That happens when we read His letter to us and are still enough to hear what He is saying!

A tool that I’m using this year to help me do that is an app called Read Scripture. It is a thematic reading plan that shows the overarching STORY of scripture. Through the use of amazing short illustrated videos created by The Bible Project, I get to see how what I’m reading fits into the bigger picture of God’s redemptive plan from Genesis to Revelation.

I’m suspect of people recommending the “best ever app.” So don’t just take my word for it…take Francis Chan’s word! He used this reading plan with his church and endorses it. Currently my church, Wellspring Alliance, is using it.

Here’s what I like about “Read Scripture” app:

• I has the actual scripture passage included so I can read off my phone.
• It lays out a daily reading plan so I will read through the entire Bible in one year.
• It tracks my reading progress.
• I always have my phone with me wherever I go, so I’m without excuse!
• A text is sent daily to remind me to read.
• It creatively uses video throughout the reading plan.
• And it’s free!

Recommended Reading from Crucible Group Leaders

Did you  know that after your initial weekend, you can participate in a variety of Crucible groups?  Groups are led by loving, authentic men who want to bring out your best.

We polled some of our group leaders on what they’d recommend to read.

Jeff Madsen recommends The Last Arrow by Irwin McManus.

"The book encourages you to live a life with nothing left undone. Get the invitation to live a life with relentless ambition, a heart on fire and with no regrets."

Kenny Cox recommends The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families by Steven Covey.

"This book will help create foundational operating values and principles in individuals and families, while creating greater depth and intimacy in the family relationships."

Andy Spell recommends The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson.

"I am realizing that I have struggled with shame for a long time.  He looks at the messages from shame and the neurobiological roots of shame.  This book contains theology and practical tools to help dismantle shame.  The author is big into dealing with the negative messages we have when it comes to shame and how to rewrite those messages."

Chris Rice recommends Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott.

"Read it because most people want to hear the truth, even if it is unpalatable. It’s packed with Spinach!"

Matt Hayes recommends Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning. It’s about the heart’s cry for intimate belonging. Additionally, Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller. "Dethrone modern day idols so that the good news of the gospel and his kingship takes the throne in your heart."

Scott Ege recommends That's My Girl:  How a Father's Love Protects and Empowers His Daughter by Rick Johnson.  "This is an excellent resource for any dad raising a daughter(s).  The author provides both guidance and practical tools on how a dad can connect with his daughter by taking an active role and connecting with her with safe, masculine, fatherly energy."

Transforming Discipleship by Greg Ogden.  "It’s for men who want to create an intentional and effective discipleship model at their church.  I've been coupling the principles of his book Essential Guide to Becoming a Disciple: Eight Sessions for Mentoring and Discipleship with TCP tools (check-ins, wants/blocks, awareness, archetypes, etc.).  It's been transforming for the men I've been meeting with since this past summer."

Book Review: Preparing the Soil for God's Transformation

By: Scott Larson and Daniel L. Tocchini First, a word about one of the authors, Scott Larson. He is known as “Strong Lion” and recently staffed the November 2018 Weekend in Williams Bay, WI. If you staffed that weekend, you know Scott as a man of quiet strength. I had the opportunity to get to know him during the weekend and have been enjoying his book ever since. Both authors bring years of experience in transformational training and practical application. Scott has spent most of his career working with juvenile offenders and those who serve them. He uses multiple stories from that experience to illustrate his points - which are relevant and easily understood for any person who has an intentions to grow. At 183 pages long, this book is packed full of insights into the transformation process! Using the analogy of SOIL – clearing out bad soil and replacing it with good, rich soil that is receptive to the life that Christ wants to give us. I was struck with the multiple similarities to the work we do in Crucible. However, Larson and Tocchini use different terms and expressions to explain what men have experienced on their Initial Weekends and in Crucible groups. Accountability, Integrity, Shadow, the Iceberg, Our Little Boy, Judgement, Emotions, plus many more topics are covered. It is helpful to see common issues we discuss in Crucible addressed in a fresh light. Each chapter is followed by perceptive and thought-provoking questions for the reader. Take the time to answer these and it will make your reading richer, helping you grow, and dare I say, “transform?” Not only a good self-read, this book would make an excellent group study book. I’m proud to have a Crucible brother who has written such a powerful book. I highly recommend it to you!

The Treasure of Blogs

Were you aware of our treasure-trove of Blog articles, written by Crucible authors? Every week, Crucible men write a timely or timeless article that deals with topics like Anxiety, Father Wounds, Sex, Marriage, Overcoming obstacles, Shadow work and more. Did you know you can actually subscribe to our weekly blog?  If you want an email reminder, just go to https://thecrucibleproject.org/community - sign in or register, and then sign up for the blog subscription. Did you know that you can search them via date, via subject, via author?  If you go to the BLOG > POSTS tab, you will find RECENT POSTS, DATED ARCHIVES & TOPICAL CATEGORIES as well. Our website actually has more features if you get a username and password.   Subscribe and more benefits magically open up in the Community Tab. To subscribe, go to thecrucibleproject.org/community and sign up!   First time subscribers will be placed in a drawing to get $25 off their next staffing! Check out the Blogs.

We thought we'd go Back to the Future and share classic resources that still speak today:

The Little Book on the Human Shadow: Robert Bly

I've given this book to more men than I can remember.  When you graduate from an initial weekend, we recommend it.  What is Bly's book about?  It's the something is not quite right with ourselves.  The person or role they play in the world is not quite authentic. Bly tells us that some of our most magical self as a child gets banished by parents' and society's requirements--into a bag, he says, which we drag along behind us. You will be reminded of your weekend when you read it.  Plus it's a great primer on the carpet work that you did.  Learning more about the Shadow and how others are a mirror for things we don't like about ourselves is Gold.

On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity & Getting Old

Parker Palmer is a treasure to read.  When it comes to a wise elder/sage, Palmer is one of our best writers. “To grow in love and service, you must value ignorance as much as knowledge and failure as much as success.” More of a collection of essays, this book puts together those topics highlighted in the title.  Mixing story, poetry, musings and other's material - this is a book meant to rest in and take a break.  To ponder while reading.  On the Brink, makes you stop and wonder.  Palmer's perspective on aging places life in a perspective that allows us to breath and grow and to realize that we are continuing on this journey of life - not ending it. “Wholeness is the goal [of life], but wholeness does not mean perfection. It means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life.”  We as Crucible brothers know this part of life.  Highly recommended.

Marriage Resources

We recently asked Crucible leader, Roy Wooten, what marriage resources he recommends.  Roy and his wife Devra have led over 175 of their Life Together Forever Couples Weekends and are the authors of The Secret to Lifetime Love: Speaking and Hearing Truth. He is the Executive Director of Shield Bearer Counseling Centers in Houston, TX.  Click on the titles to purchase. General Books: Married with low libido or either been through sexual abuse: General about Sex: Premarital: Free articles and videos: MarriageToday.com FamilyLifeToday.com LifeTogetherForever.com GrowthTrac.com

A Plethora of Resources

We thought it would be good to cover a number of areas this summer. Here's a list of great resources according to topics!  If you have some recommendations, send them to me here. Financial Resources: Dave Ramsey.  For Financial Peace University to blogs, podcasts, books and radio shows - go to https://www.daveramsey.com/ Ron Blue.  Kingdom Advisors is an online resource for someone needing financial advice to financial advisors.  go to https://kingdomadvisors.com/ Business & Leadership: Henry Cloud.  Leadership U.  Boundaries.  Business books.  go to https://www.drcloud.com/ Michael Hyatt.  Leadership mentor, Goal and management resources, the Leader Box. go to https://michaelhyatt.com/ Sexuality: Dan Allender.  Healing and Restoration.  Books, Online courses and more from The Seattle School.  Go to https://theallendercenter.org/ Mark Laaser.  Faithful & True ministries.  Workshops, Counseling, Sexual integrity resources.  Go to https://faithfulandtrue.com/ Healthy Living: Rick Warren, Dr. Daniel Amen.  The Daniel Plan, a Biblical approach to food. Go to http://www.danielplan.com/ Rex Russell, M.D.  A great book entitled, "What the Bible Says about Healthy Living." Go to Amazon here. Marriage: Gary Chapman.  Love Languages, practical books. Go to http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ Mike Mason.  The Mystery of Marriage is the classic book on Christian marriage.  Go to https://www.mikemasonbooks.com/ Henry Cloud and John Townsend.  Boundaries in Marriage.  Go to Amazon.

Everybody, Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People

Bob Goff is amazingly funny, hope-filled and Jesus crazy. "Everyone Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Difficult People" is the follow up to his NYT best selling title, "Love Does."

I thought I had this book figured out before I read it. Of course, it would be filled with amazing stories, poignant insights and deep truths - Bob encourages us to love those people that aren't easy to love. To love without inhibition or judgement. However, Goff really made me think more deeply about this issue than I expected. It's quite a skill to be both entertaining and challenging at the same time, and Bob pulls it off. Why not throw off our inhibitions and shadows that have kept us from truly engaging, truly loving everyone? This book is fun, silly, playful, serious, smart, deep ALL at the same time. Just what we need in this day and age. Follow Bob on Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobgoff

God’s Word & More: YouVersion

"All Scripture is God-breathed and useful..." - 2 Timothy 3:16a.  Scripture has the power to transform men's lives.  The Crucible Project experience is filled with powerful Scripture. Did you know you can have that same power in the palm of your hand? YouVersion has already been downloaded 300 million times.  Not only does it offer offer 1,713 Bible versions in 1,134 languages for free, and without advertising - it also has hundreds of devotional studies from amazing authors and Bible teachers. I use it daily in my chair time to read a number of devotionals - and there are great ones for men's issues.  Right now I'm doing Wild Life with John Eldredge - it includes video, Scripture and guided questions to work on. There are amazing features - you can share your devotional sessions with friends, do sessions together, and create visual Bible verses. It is available via iOS, Android, via Bible.com and also installable for Voice. Go here for more.

RightNow Media: Resources for you from your church!

One of the most exciting avenues of the internet has been streaming media - movies, music and more.  Enter RightNow Media - called "The Netflix of Christian Bible Study," it features over 10,000 free videos and studies online.  Perfect viewing for individuals, small groups, families and more, RightNow offers an amazing array of topics from Ministry,  Work, Marriage, Addiction, Mens' & Women's issues, Youth, Kid's, Topical Bible studies and even humorous videos. Heavyweight authors and teachers like Francis Chan, Phil Vischer, Henry Cloud, John Townsend, John Ortberg and more are featured on RightNow.  It can be accessed on Roku, Firestick, AppleTV and more as well as your PC, Tablet and Phone. One caveat:  You cannot sign up individually to RightNow.  They state: "We believe that being part of a community of believers is critical to spiritual growth as well as obedience to God.  We want to encourage people to be part of a body of believers and use our resources within that framework.  Our mission is to serve local churches, and we believe that mission becomes less clear when we are serving individuals directly instead of allowing the local church to shepherd their own congregation.  This way we can partner with the church and build on the foundation that the church has already laid." It's possible your church already subscribes to RightNow, and you'll need to reach out and get your free subscription.  If your church doesn't subscribe, RightNow is more than happy to make that happen. Check it out here at https://www.rightnowmedia.org

White Awake: An honest look at what it means to be white.

By Daniel Hill First of all, DO NOT READ THIS BOOK. Unless, you are ready to have your world rocked. It certainly did mine. I’ve always considered myself non-prejudice, non-racist; a person well aware of those different from me. While that is true, what I did not consider was my culture as a white person. In other words, my whiteness needed to be woken up! White Awake chronicles the journey of Daniel Hill, a Willow Creek staffer who attempted to start a multi-racial church in Chicago, then failed. In that failure he came to confess, “I was oblivious to what I didn’t even know. I was blind but I didn’t know I was blind.” He began to see that his unawareness to his being white was keeping him from a true transformation. It kept him from the very objective he had to participate in a multi-colored world. The book outlines issues of cultural identity, the historical American narrative on race, the dangers of denial, facing honest dialog, and the place of lament and repenting. It concludes with challenges and practical suggestions for those willing to step into the realities of what it means to be white in a multi-colored world. On a final note, I am encouraged that in our Crucible community we have the tools of honesty, vulnerability, grace, and truth that are all necessary to engage in a dialog that I pray will lead to change in our society. If you’re ready to get stretched and are willing to see realities that you may be blind to, then this book comes highly recommended.

The Heart of Man Review

“The Heart of Man” is a movie with a story told so well that one would find it hard to not come away impacted by its message. While couched in a documentary, the film has beautiful cinematography. It is a story of brokenness and redemption, and speaks to the very soul of our nature and sense of worth. Told with the same symbolic styling as J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, it’s a story of how people have found the only way out of a lifetime of sexual brokenness. Seven people share their stories of being set free from shame, secrecy and using lust to self-medicate their deep pain. Contributing are author William Paul Young, therapist Dan Allender, spoken word artist Jackie Hill-Perry and author John S. Lynch. The movie has an edge not suitable for younger viewers that is necessary to explore the issues of shame, guilt and restoration. It’s not just about sexual brokenness, but is one of the lynchpins in the story. Initially offered at select movie theaters via Fathom Events, it had an encore showing due to its popularity. We’d highly recommend it for individuals, families, small groups and churches. There are resources online such as a participant’s guide to use in small groups at Heart of Man Movie. At 74 minutes, “The Heart of Man” features additional content – including a 26 minute discussion with the cast and crew. It is now available via DVD, Blue-Ray, iTunes, YouTube, Amazon, and Google Play. There are plans for a Netflix release this year. Some churches, like Willow Creek, offer their member’s access to Right Now Media, a video resource that has the movie available.

Book Review: Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life

By Richard Rohr “Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal. (John 12:24-25, The Message) Jesus, the master paradox speaker, uses one on his disciples to foreshadow the necessity of his death. He was letting them know that through death comes life, letting go we receive, and in humility we are lifted up. It is these truths that Richard Rohr explores in Falling Upward for any man who wants to see that the second half of life is not a slow descent to death. Rather it is about what happens when we let go of building our bank accounts, reputations, power, and positions. It is about the “upward journey” to becoming more whole as we “fall downward.” While any man at any age could read this book, I’d highly recommend this book to men over 50 who are wondering how they will navigate their lives into their 60’s and 70’s.

The Liturgist’s Podcast

Have you ever tried listening to podcasts on your long drive or in your office? There are so many out there (and availability with smart phones makes it easier) that you might be wondering, “Where’s a good place to start?” Michael Gungor and Mike McHargue (Science Mike) host an amazing podcast called, The Liturgists, where they tackle topics you really don’t hear the church talk much about – other than Crucible weekends and groups. The Liturgists state, “We create art and experiences for the spiritually homeless and frustrated.” Sound intriguing? There is some salty language at times, but when you’re dealing with messy topics like marriage, women, violence, science and art. This will make you think and stretch your faith. Don’t listen if you want to stay safely in your current beliefs. LINK: http://www.theliturgists.com/podcast You can also access it via iTunes (link), Google Play (link) and Spotify (link) Want a few more ideas? Relevant Magazine has a few more ideas: CLICK HERE

GLSNext Leadership Resources

Those men who have attended the two second level Crucible weekends on leadership, know the value of good resources.  The Global Leadership Summit, an annual event across the globe, brings world class leaders right to you.  GLS also has online and app resources that you can access free!  Just go to glsnext.com for more. Content includes leaders Jim Collins, Melinda Gates, Andy Stanley, Jack Welch, Seth Godin, Henry Cloud, Albert Tate and more.

Stress & Connection Video

Here is an excellent two part video series from Dr. Henry Cloud, business leadership consultant and clinical psychologist who speaks at Willow Creek Community Church annually.  "Handling Stress" and "How our Connections affect Our Stress," give both practical guidance and strategies that you will find invaluable. VIDEO ONE VIDEO TWO

ACTION POINT:  Give us your three favorite books, and we will give you the results next month! EMAIL 

Here are some of the responses: Beautiful Outlaw by John Eldredge The Three Battlegrounds by Francis Frangipane Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn Dethroning Mammon (Making Money Serve Grace) by Justin Welby To Bless the Space between Us by John O'Donahue

Book: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, by Charles Duhigg, a New York Times reporter – takes you on a journey of discovery that can impact you personally, professionally and your community.

Spending over 60 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List, Power of Habit digs into the science and accumulated research into how our brains actually form and continue habits. Using the formula of Cue: Routine: Reward, which research has unearthed, Duhigg expresses how habits take root in us personally. He also digs into how business uses this research to their benefit – and examines organizations and movements. For me, understanding how my brain functions regarding just how habits work, has allowed me to focus on changing some of the bad habits I’ve acquired over the years. Power of Habit actually gives us some practical tools on changing old habits and instilling new ones. The Crucible Project’s design is actually totally in tune with these principles. Duhigg explains the power of peer networks and how they assist in building new habits. By looking at a number of organizations, including Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church, the Civil Rights movement, Target and the NFL. Everyone will enjoy something from this book’s contents. It’s an intellectually revealing read as well as a personally useful one. Rare these days.

Book: Loveable by Kelly Flanagan

Any man that has stepped onto the carpet and taken a look at the darkness knows it is the only way to come into the light. The premise of Loveable, is the same. Loveable gets to the heart of the matter: the shame we carry and helpful ways to deal with it. Step one is to deal with the shame before you can start to become fully alive. The author weaves his personal journey throughout the book. You get a glimpse of a scared youth, aggressive student, and hardworking husband/dad that has found how being “loveable” brings true joy. Authentic, vulnerable, and easy to read…Loveable is now topping my “favorite books” list! Being one of the first read it, I have been telling all my friends they MUST get this book!

I can name three Crucible brothers that are reading this book right now. One of them is going through it a second time because the truths they are finding are so beneficial to them! - JJ  Click on the book to get it!

Resources for the Journey

Sometimes, especially after a man does work on his initial weekend, other issues come out that haven’t been addressed.  Oftentimes those issues have to do with addictions. Sexual addiction is an issue that 18-24 million Americans struggle with yet help seems difficult to find, because of the tremendous power of shame. One valuable resource is LIFE Recovery International, an addiction recovery ministry that provides resources for not only sexual addiction, but other addictions as well. Based on the L.I.F.E. guidebook written by Dr. Mark Laaser, who leads Faithful & True, a Christian Counseling Center that offers intensive weekends for men, women and couples, there are hundreds of Faithful & True small groups that meet weekly around this issue all around the country. Both websites have helpful self-assessment tools, free resources and downloads, workshops and podcasts.  Both men and women, husbands and wives travel to Minnesota for the workshops that are offered.

Books for the Journey

Seven Desires: Looking Past what Separates Us to Learn what Connects Us.  By: Mark & Debbie Laaser

If you’ve longed for deeper insight into what we all long for and the common longings in every person’s heart, Mark & Debbie Laaser’s book, Seven Desires, is an insightful read.

The Laasers use Biblical insights, counseling stories and sound psychological principles to explain and pinpoint the common desires God gives you: to be heard, affirmed, blessed, safe, touched, chosen, and included.

When I read the very first chapter, my heart skipped a beat as the initial explanation reflected many issues I haven’t been able to put into words.  That chapter was worth the price of the book and more.  I was able to instantly recognize the main desires that I have been ‘chasing’ all my life.

With helpful “Points to Ponder” at the end of every chapter, this is a book that can be experienced individually or in a small group.  It’s great to read with your spouse.

The Crucible Project does a great job at meeting these seven desires, and I can see this book as a next level type of reading for those that have been through an initial weekend as well as seasoned Crucible vets.

Books for the Journey

The Road Back to You

An Enneagram Journey To Self-Discovery  By: Ian Morgan Crow & Suzanne Stabile

Ian Morgan unravels the mystery of the “Enneagram”, an ancient personality system that helps people understand who they are and what makes them tick. When I say ancient, think monks from 400AD. By the early 1900s a teacher developed a nine pointed geometric figure, thus “ennea(nine)gram” to illustrate this system. Fast forward to 1970 and the personality system came to the United States where millions of people have used the system and swear to its accuracy.

OK, enough history already! Why should you read this book? Other than the obvious reason of answering the question, “what number am I anyway?!” I’d offer three reasons.

First, to understand yourself better. To date I’ve never found THE absolute and total system that gets to the heart of how I tick. The Enneagram is one of many tools that can help you do that. By reading about your “type” it gives you a greater appreciation for your gold and shadow. The truth be told, it is more about the sin that most trips you up. By seeing it from a higher view it helps you make choices about how you want to live.

Second, to understand those around you. My wife and I read this book together and we’d often stop and comment on how clearly it described me, her, or one of our kids. After reading one chapter we joked “they should rename that chapter ‘Susan’ (the name of our friend).” To live in harmony and understanding with those around you, the first step is often seeing how the other is wired. Different is just that – different.

Third, to share a common language with others. I’ve noticed that more and more men in The Crucible community are being exposed to the Enneagram through reading, workshops, and blogs. A friend of mine shares the same personality type. We are able to address certain issues in light of the Enneagram that gives us greater understanding of the soul work we are doing. Coupled with the tools offered in Crucible I have found this to be very helpful to go deeper.

On a final note, let me say the book is very easy to read! The lead Author, Ian Morgan Cron uses a humorous narrative throughout to illustrate the various types and gently shows us where our sins trip us up. He speaks from his own experience (think “I statements”) and invites his reader to do the same. You’ll read this book to “figure out what number you are” and discover you are reading it to “figure out who others are” as well. Fascinating, entertaining, insightful! A must read for any man on his journey. 

Books for the Journey

If you’ve ever seen Truth in places where some don’t – you’ll enjoy “Waking The Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive,” by John Eldredge.  The author of “Wild at Heart” takes on the tenant that Christianity offers life – full life, as promised by Jesus himself in John 10:10.  Eldredge’s purpose is to ignite that life that is already within us. He uses biblical and cultural examples to communicate God’s great purposes in redeeming us even in the midst of a wounded and shell-shocked world.  At the same time, John communicates that the path of following Jesus is a narrow path in the midst of spiritual warfare.  The chapter on “Fighting for Your Heart” takes that whole topic on to a place you might have never considered. If you want to live your life in a way that is FREED in following God, and challenge some of the lies you might have believed about yourself and your heart, this is a great place to start.  Added bonus:  It’s now on Amazon Kindle for $1.99 here: Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive

Books for the Journey

“Scary Close – Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy” is Donald Miller’s most recent book.  The author of “Blue Like Jazz,” Miller has an engaging conversational way of writing.  It feels like you’re with a good friend.  I’d read other Miller books, and was looking forward to this one – yet this book seemed different.  It was a more mature man, coming to grips with his need for intimacy, while at the same time scared to death of it. With chapter titles like, The Distracting Noises of Insecurity, You are Good at Relationships, Why Some Animals make Themselves Look Bigger than They Are, Five Kinds of Manipulators and Do Men Do Intimacy Differently, there is really something for every man at every stage of their lives. I think a good author is someone who can peel off the common layers that we all have, and get to the nitty gritty of life.  Miller does that here.  I have so much common ground with his “voice” in this book, that I really feel that his story is my story.  When I read the chapter on parenting – I couldn’t help but traverse through all the emotions on display with the parents who talk about intimacy and the role it plays with their kids.  You’ll be shocked and comforted most likely, like me. Donald is a storyteller, and because of that, alongside with the conversational writing, it’s truly hard to put down.  That’s always a sign of a great book, in my opinion.  Every man should read it.