The Cycle of Gratitude and Generosity

November 2025

When I think about what it means to be a Redwood, I picture those towering trees that stand together through wind, fire, and time. Each one looks strong on its own, but what really keeps them standing is what’s beneath the surface—their roots are intertwined.

That image feels true for us who’ve walked through the Crucible retreat experience. Our strength doesn’t come from standing alone. It comes from connection. From grace. From the quiet, steady exchange of life between us.

In the same way, there are two spiritual roots that keep us grounded and growing: gratitude and generosity. When they’re intertwined, they create a powerful cycle that keeps our hearts open, our spirits alive, and our communities strong.

Gratitude: All of Life is a Gift

Gratitude begins when we recognize that so much of what we have and who we are comes from beyond us. Robert Emmons, one of the leading voices on gratitude, calls it “a recognition and appreciation of the good in one’s life that comes from outside the self.”

For me, that means seeing life not as something I’ve earned, but as something I’ve received. Gratitude doesn’t deny pain or hardship—it gives us eyes to see grace inside of it. When I take time to notice the people, the opportunities, and even the challenges that have shaped me, I remember that I’ve truly never walked this road alone.

David DeSteno, another researcher, says gratitude is a moral emotion—it’s what moves us toward others. When we feel thankful, we want to give back. We want to pay it forward. Gratitude humbles us, but it also energizes us. It reminds us that grace isn’t meant to stop with us; it’s meant to flow through us.

Generosity: The Outflow of Gratitude

If gratitude is the inner posture of receiving, generosity is what happens when we let that gratitude overflow. Sociologist Christian Smith defines generosity as “giving good things freely to others with the intent to enhance their well-being.”

That’s not just about money. It’s about time, encouragement, wisdom, forgiveness, or presence. It’s what Adam Grant calls “prosocial behavior”—the act of contributing to someone else’s flourishing.

When I give from a grateful heart, it’s not about obligation or earning points with God. It’s about reflecting His heart. Generosity says, “I’ve been given much—now I get to give.” It’s not a transaction; it’s transformation.

And the beautiful part? Research shows that gratitude and generosity feed each other. People who regularly practice gratitude are more generous. And generous people—those who give freely—feel more grateful and fulfilled. It’s a sacred loop that Paul reminded the leaders of the church in Ephesus that Jesus had said: “… it is more blessed to give than to receive...” (Acts 20:35).

The Science Just Confirms What We Already Know

Over the last two decades, researchers have put numbers and brain scans to what Scripture and experience have already taught us: gratitude and generosity go hand in hand.

  • When people are thanked sincerely, they’re far more likely to help again—and even to help strangers later.
  • Gratitude activates the same parts of the brain that light up when we give.
  • People who journal or pray with gratitude end up giving more of their time and resources.
  • Generosity builds community, and community reinforces gratitude.

Jesus summed it up in one line: “Freely you have received; freely give.” (Matthew 10:8)

Ten Roots of a Grateful and Generous Life

If we think of gratitude and generosity as roots of the Redwood life, here are ten qualities that keep those roots healthy:

  1. Awareness – Seeing goodness beyond yourself.
  2. Humility – Knowing you depend on God and others.
  3. Joy – Letting thankfulness bring delight.
  4. Connection – Building trust and belonging.
  5. Compassion – Feeling with others, not just for them.
  6. Faith – Trusting that God will provide as you give.
  7. Purpose – Knowing your giving matters.
  8. Courage – Showing up and offering yourself anyway.
  9. Integrity – Giving in ways that align with your values.
  10. Legacy – Living in a way that blesses future generations.

Each one feeds the next. Gratitude leads to awareness, awareness to humility, humility to compassion, and compassion to action. The more grateful we are, the more generous we become—and the more generous we become, the more gratitude we feel.

What Gets in the Way

We all hit seasons when the cycle breaks down. Sometimes we get caught in comparison, entitlement, or fear. We start thinking about what we don’t have, or what someone else should have done for us. We tighten our grip on what God has given us to steward.

Gratitude is the antidote. When we start small—naming blessings, thanking others, acknowledging God’s provision—we begin to loosen the grip of scarcity. Gratitude restores perspective. It reminds us of abundance, even in lean seasons.

Generosity grows best in that soil. When we feel full, we give freely.

Living the Redwood Way

We often say that transformation happens through confession, grace, and action. The same rhythm applies here:

  • Confess where you’ve stopped being grateful or generous.
  • Receive grace—remember that you are loved and blessed beyond measure.
  • Act—take one simple step to pass that grace on to someone else.

Maybe it’s a note of thanks to a mentor, a call to a Redwood you haven’t checked in on, or an act of service for your church or community. Those small acts are how we live out the Redwood way—rooted in gratitude, reaching out in generosity.

Because like the redwoods, we don’t grow tall by standing apart. We grow strong by standing together—our roots intertwined, our hearts open, our lives reflecting the generous heart of God.

The Invitation

Redwoods, this is our calling: to create lives of gratitude and generosity. To live as evidence of God’s grace in a world that desperately needs it.

May we keep our eyes open to the gifts that surround us.
May we give freely, without fear or measure.
And may our roots, intertwined in grace, hold us steady and strong—like the redwoods we’re named for.

Introducing Crucible to New People

October 2025

I love talking about Crucible to people who have never heard about us. It is obvious that we don’t have a lot of details about the retreat on our website, so we frequently get framed into their understanding about us in poor comparisons. I’m hopeful that this blog will help you also talk to folks about the retreat in a new way.

Tell Your Story

Telling your story of Crucible’s impact is the most important way you can share about Crucible. Simply sharing what you wanted for yourself out of the weekend and what you got out of the weekend is a strong testimonial. Share about how something in your life was before and how it has been since.

Share the Opportunity

Sometimes a Redwood shares how difficult it is for them to try to sell someone on registering for the retreat. Let go of the outcomes and just share the transformational opportunity with them. Let God and them decide when it is the right time for them to attend. Don’t answer “no” for them by never sharing the opportunity with them.

Sticker Shock

Tell them the price of the weekend is $795, but that they can pay that out at as little as $85 a month. If it is true for you, let them know that the value of the weekend for you was worth many times more than you actually paid for it.

The registration price is much less than they would pay for a half year of therapy, or with many other groups who are charging over $1,000 to $10,000 for similar experiences. We continue to be one of the lowest-priced transformational experiences in the Christian marketplace.

And we will not let finances be the reason someone can’t start their soul work journey with us. Let them know that if their financial needs are a barrier, they simply click the Financial Assistance button and complete the required follow-up forms.

Comparison to Church and Other Related Retreats

One of the reasons for sticker shock is that they don’t know how different this will be from their local church retreat. They went to Emmaus Weekend or a Men’s or Women’s Conference and that is all they know to compare to. That is one of the reasons your story is so important.

I sometimes ask, “What about your life changed at any of the church retreats you’ve been to?” I share how the retreat is not a place to learn more about being all God has called them to be — not about learning new information.

Instead, the retreat is a sequenced set of experiences, from the moment you hit the retreat site, unlike any retreat you’ve ever been on that helps move you from the unwanted patterns of behavior in your life toward the kind of person you really want to be. The retreat experience gives you an opportunity to get at the things between your ears and between your head and heart that are keeping you from being who you know God wants you to be.

Ask These Questions

Is there something about you that you want to change, or have you already arrived at being all you believe God has called you to be? Is there a place where you have been stuck in unwanted patterns of behavior that you would like to change?

Do you trust me?

What is keeping you from stepping into the challenging retreat experience to get at those things?

Give a Taste of Crucible

If your community has an Exploration Group going, see if you can get the potential participant to experience a taste of Crucible by attending it with him. No Exploration Group going? Sign up to lead one. The curriculum and the group experience are absolutely free to you and to your guest. It’s also available to run online.

Men have weekly free Check-Ins. Invite the potential participant to join you and meet them there. The Better Man Check-In is every Thursday, noon to 1 PM CST.

A primer of Crucible’s teachings is in Unstuck: 7 Steps to Break Free and Live Courageously. If they are a reader, they can pick up the eBook for free when they sign up for the weekly Compass Resource email, or they can purchase one where they buy books, like Amazon. For men, there is a video-based 8-session small group series based on the book that will soon be available. Or send them to the YOUVERSION Unstuck Bible Devotional.

Share one of the many blogs that might be pertinent to them, a post on Facebook, LinkedIn, or Instagram. Comb through several years of weekly Crucible Podcasts and share one of them that is a good fit for them. You can find them on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere you stream.

If your church is planning an upcoming event for men or women, let them know that we have leaders who would be willing to speak at their event and give participants a taste of the powerfully transformative experiences that happen on our retreats. Make the connection.

No Time But Help Needed Now

There is nothing as powerful as a Crucible initial retreat. However, if they are in a season of pain and need to get started on their journey now, connect them to our Coaching page. Trained, safe, and confidential personal coaches are ready to help them get started. A free 30-minute session to get to know each other and make sure it is a match is available to anyone.

What if They Say “No”

That is OK. It is not yet their time to come. I remember inviting a college friend to come several times a year. About year five, I asked if he wanted me to stop inviting him, to which he replied, “No, keep telling me about it. It will work in my schedule someday.” At the 10-year mark, during a phone conversation, he made the commitment. He now is on the regional leadership team, has completed all the Second Level retreats, and has stepped into the Elder process.

We are the sowers. God is the one who gives the increase. Hold outcomes loosely and share the opportunity. Some may never be ready, but they won’t know about it when they are ready if you don’t tell them about it.

How Exploration Groups Work

September 2025

One of the most effective ways to get people to initial retreats is through engaging them in soul work pre-weekend. Our Exploration Group curriculum is pre-weekend activities that introduce participants to Crucible concepts. It helps the group participants right where they are, before going to a weekend. The majority of people in exploration groups end up going to a Crucible initial retreat eventually.

How do I get started?

  1. Work with other Redwoods in your community to gather same-gender group participants. Since this is a pre-weekend group, other Redwoods can join as participants too, but some of the stuff we do in our post-weekend groups we just won’t do (carpet, animal names, etc.). If you have need of a flyer, let us know.

  2. Consider adding another Redwood as a co-leader. Cancelling scheduled meetings can be damaging to the group culture. Having a co-leader reduces the likelihood of cancellations.

  3. Set the meeting time, location, and dates. Meeting at the same time every time, on the same day of the week every time, and in the same location every time is good group culture.

  4. Complete the Group Leader form and get access to the group curriculum. In order to get access to it, you will need to sign a form committing that you will never charge for it and you will never use it beyond its intended use.

  5. Run the group as the curriculum states. If you find the culture of your group would require curriculum modification, have a discussion with the appropriate Men’s or Women’s Ministry Director.

  6. As the group curriculum concludes, ask if participants have any desire to continue meeting or inviting others to join the group.

Checking In is HUGE!

If you have been doing your own soul work for any length of time, you may be amazed by the power of the Check In process. Many times, Exploration Group Leaders discover that group participants get so much out of the check in alone. It may very likely be the only place in that participant’s life where they have ever shared what is going on in their life. You will discover that the check in, in and of itself, is a powerful soul work tool for those in attendance. If that is all that happens, it is a good session.

You are Qualified to Lead

You do not have to have special training to lead an Exploration Group. You are qualified as a Redwood who is doing their work and already been exposed to the check in process. If you would like to be mentored, let us know and we can connect you with someone who is leading or has experience leading the Exploration Group.

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